


Guardian Angel

by Arawynn



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Torture, Main Character Near Death, Mental Health Issues, Near Death, Non-Graphic Violence, Past Torture, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-11-22 02:47:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20866949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arawynn/pseuds/Arawynn
Summary: Every person has a Guardian Angel. And you are the Guardian Angel of the one and only James Buchanan Barnes. You are by his side at every moment of his life. Only as his Guardian Angel or can it be more?





	Guardian Angel

Every person had a guardian angel assigned to them when they were born. They were invisible to most and not allowed to intervene in whatever happened to their protégée. However, they did have the power to give them comfort. To let them find new hope, even in the most dire situations. Alert them of something their protégé subconsciously had already noticed.

You had been assigned to be the guardian angel of James Buchanan Barnes. He had been a good kid who grew into a fine man. Being his guardian angel wasn’t always easy, but a lot of the trouble he got into originated from his tendency to protect his best friend Steve Rogers. Who in turn had a tendency to pick fights with the biggest and meanest bullies he could find. You really didn’t envy Rogers’ guardian angel, though that boy had a heart of gold as well.

Life was easy until World War 2 broke out. Well certainly not _easy_ easy, but good enough and with only ordinary troubles. At least for you – far too many guardian angels had to console their protégées because the War ripped people apart, be it short-term or permanently. You certainly didn’t envy them either. Your kind protected humans out of love. And no matter how terrible some of the humans you had protected during your long life, a part of you had always loved them. Seeing their protégé deal with these horrible amounts of pain, hurt and despair took its toll on the guardian angels. They’d need many decades in heaven before being able to protect somebody again.

One day, it was James “Bucky” Barnes’ turn to join the War. It worried you – you had seen what Wars could do to people. And there was this feeling that you’d have more reasons to worry than the currently obvious ones. As if those weren’t already enough reasons to hate and dread what was going on.

* * *

At first it seemed like Bucky would simply be one more soldier. Another simple, meaningless number in this madness. Until he was captured by H.Y.D.R.A., just when they turned against the German army they had been part of. Suddenly, your protégé was a prisoner of war and victim of horrible torture. The guardian angels of the torturers wept just as much as you did whenever he fell victim to another procedure they tested on him.

You tried to help him by holding him whenever he could sleep and enveloping him in your wings. It was everything you _could_ do for him, yet it felt like it was too little. By far too little, considering what this brave man had to go through. But it was enough to keep him alive and sane until one day Steve Rogers – now much larger – broke into the facility to get them out. You shouted out for his guardian angel because there certainly had to be a way to ensure Bucky and Steve would meet, right?

You didn’t know how, but Bucky managed to get out of the H.Y.D.R.A. facility, alive and in one piece while it turned into the worst nightmare of the apocalypse itself. It seemed like after this day, everything would get better. Sure you still held Bucky nearly every night to fight of some of the trauma and nightmares, but it got slowly better. He had his best friend back. They were part of a special team that very successfully fought and took down H.Y.D.R.A. all over Europe. Fighting those who had caused him so much time helped Bucky deal with it. It seemed as if the War being over was only a matter of time.

_Until that faithful day_. The day Bucky Barnes fell off a train and was deemed killed in action. You were by his side when he laid in the snow. Heavily injured, bleeding to death in the freezing cold. You could only hold him to make it even a little bit easier. To let him forget that he was _technically dying here alone_.

When the foreign soldier appeared, you were nothing but thankful. Certainly he’d help Bucky. Your own hope spread to your protégée. A part of you knew well that he could have died easily at this point and that the hope played a major part in his survival. Later, you’d wish Bucky died that very moment, no matter how much it had broken your heart. Because what he’d have to endure the following 70 years broke your heart thousand times over. And much worse than the first time he’d been a prisoner of war.

* * *

You entered the Ideal Federal Savings Bank – a secret H.Y.D.R.A. facility. For years already you were pretending to be a member of their medical staff that was specifically assigned to the Winter Soldier. The man you had gotten to know as your protégé Bucky Barnes. Being visible in the first place – to engage in the world of humans – had been a rebellion that cost you a lot. Your access to heaven. Major parts of your strength and powers. The invulnerability when it came to human injuries. You needed to eat, drink and sleep. And while you often doubted your decision, you’d make it again and again had you ever the choice. Because the love you felt for James Buchanan Barnes was different from the common feelings of a guardian angel towards their protégé.

When you entered the actual facility where ‘The Asset’ was currently located, everyone was tense. The Soldier had returned from a mission gone wrong and his memories were surfacing. It was confusing Bucky which had caused him to lash out. Violently and at everyone. Director Pierce had just ordered him to be wiped again and the process finished mere seconds after you came in. His cries of pain made your heart clench in horrible pain every single time, no matter how often they put him through it.

Now it was up to you to make sure The Asset hadn’t suffered any ‘real’ brain damage from the electroshocks. Because every other person subjected to it sooner or later suffered irreparable brain damage from it. None of them had been able to endure them as long as the Winter Soldier. The H.Y.D.R.A. scientists claimed it was the super soldier serum, but you knew better. Bucky would be just as dead as everyone else by now had you not used your powers to heal him – your first act of rebellion.

Everyone but you and your ‘patient’ left the room for the evaluation. It had been one of your demands, though you had used the need for absolutely no distraction as a pretext. That distractions would falsify the results. So it was only you and him when you gently touched his human arm and healed the damage H.Y.D.R.A.’s scientists had caused Bucky. He was always calm in your presence – his subconscious knew that you were the opposite of dangerous. “I don’t know how you can do it, but I always feel better when you’re there.”, the Soldier said softly.

You gently wiped a stray strand of hair behind his ear. “Because your mind knows I’d never harm you and allows some relaxation. With everyone else you’re always forced to be on alert. And that’s exhausting for you.”, you answered softly. After five minutes of more small talk and just allowing Bucky to recover from the wiping, you started the evaluation. Not because you needed it – the bond between guardian angel and protégée still existed between the two of you so you always knew how he was – but to keep up the pretence.

There wasn’t much else you could currently do for him. Because even though you were looking for a way to get him out of H.Y.D.R.A.’s tentacles, they were currently too powerful and wide-spread to allow the two of you a normal life without being worried of being pulled back in. So you had to wait and hope there’d be an opportunity. And soon, because you had no idea how much longer both you and him were able to endure H.Y.D.R.A.

The chance came not much later, when Agent Romanoff revealed all of S.H.I.E.L.D. and H.Y.D.R.A. to the world. Your protégée had been forced to fight his former best friend – something you and Rogers’ guardian angel had watched in its horrible entirety. Both of you were once again weeping bitterly, hoping that none of them died.

Somehow, Rogers managed to get his old friend remember enough to stop him from killing the blond. It was you who whispered ‘_you need to save him_’ into the Soldier’s ear after his friend fell from the Helicarrier. The light suggestion was everything he needed to follow his heart. After that, Barnes headed towards the apartment your human disguise lived. Leaving Rogers behind on a riverbank.

* * *

When your protégée reached your temporary home, you were ready to leave. Officially. With him. Bucky didn’t talk about it, but he wanted to protect you – the only person who had shown him kindness and compassion during the second time as prisoner of H.Y.D.R.A. After all, you were technically being hunted by both the rest of H.Y.D.R.A. and basically every government in the world.

The two of you somehow managed to lay low. The places you stayed were small and shitty, but your freedom was worth it. You helped Bucky adapt to the 21st century and with recovering his memories. At night, you still held him and wrapped your wings around his body. It was the only way for him to get some actual sleep without his PTSD and nightmares (and honestly whatever mental illnesses H.Y.D.R.A. besides that had caused) putting him through hell every five minutes.

It took him two years of slow, painful recovery full of setbacks before Bucky even _considered_ finding Steve. When the former assassin did, the public had started to not see him as a monster – the Winter Soldier files had gotten tons of attention right after everything had come to light – but thanks to Captain America, the other part of the story had been told as well. The even uglier part of torture, brainwashing and being turned into a weapon without own will. The public had started to see Bucky as person. As _victim_. Not a criminal.

When the two of you went to the Avengers, Bucky didn’t raise as much suspicion as you did. Though it didn’t take long until Agent Romanoff could prove the former assassin’s claim that you belonged to the good ones. It was the start of a new life, especially for Bucky. The strain of always having to be careful and looking out for threads dropped from his shoulders. Others could take over and gladly did. He started therapy to get over the horrors H.Y.D.R.A. had done to him. Reconnected with his old friend and found new ones in the other Avengers.

You kept a watchful eye on him and made sure to be _there_ whenever Bucky couldn’t be near anyone but you. When he could only sleep when you held him. At first the former Winter Soldier needed your presence nearly every night to even think about falling asleep. Later, it had become a habit you both enjoyed.

But your heart was heavy, especially when Bucky was fast asleep in your arms. You’d face judgement for getting too involved with your protégée. And for engaging in his fate. Though you didn’t feel remorse for acting this way. The former Winter Soldier was unlike anybody you had ever met or protected.

* * *

It happened suddenly and unexpected, even for you. Even though you expected them to come for you sooner or later. You were still surprised when your higher-ups suddenly stood in front of you. And another Guardian Angel along with them. The realization that you’d be replaced and that your punishment would involve never seeing Bucky again was heartbreaking. You had suffered through so much with him and now that he got better and happier, you’d be ordered back to heaven. It made you furious beyond belief, but a tiny little voice knew that you didn’t really have a choice. Not as a simple Guardian Angel.

“Guardian Angel Y/F/N, have you fallen in love with your protégée? More than what’s common among your kind?”, the first Angel asked. His voice stern and not showing any feelings. “I love him, yes.”, you simply answered. There was no point in trying to lie to an Angel. They could see right through it. The other Guardian Angel seemed excited – they probably looked forwards to getting your – soon former – protégée.

“James Buchanan Barnes”, the second higher-up Angel continued. You whirled around as fast as you could. Bucky was here as well? And seemed to be part of whatever this was? Something bigger had to be going on, a human was never involved when the rare occasion of getting a different Guardian Angel arose. The brunet stood right behind you, sending a soft smile in your direction before concentrating on your higher-up.

“Are you in love with Y/N?”, he continued unblinking. “From the bottom of my heart.”, the former Winter Soldier answered. Now the Angels were smiling. “Guardian Angel Y/F/N, you’re released from your duty to protect James Buchanan Barnes. To honour your and his love, you’ll be allowed to live a life as human.”, the first higher-up Angel declared. It floored you. Of course there had been stories of situations like this one, but every single one had been very adamant about a Soulmate-level of love being required for this. From both parties. You had never thought the feelings between the two of you could be strong enough for this. The love of Soulmates had been more..._spectacular_ in your mind.

* * *

Merely an hour later, you and Bucky were back to his room. Being a human was not that much different from what you had been before, but it would take time to get used to not feeling the bond between yourself and him. “I’m still amazed that you can love me. You’ve seen all the horrible things I’ve done.”, Bucky said at one point. A gentle smile appeared on your face. “Kind eyes can look on anything and find it beautiful. And it’s said that Guardian Angels have the kindest eyes among all living creatures.”, you replied.

The brunet leaned his forehead against yours. “You’re probably right. I still can’t believe I’m this lucky. Having my personal Angel in my arms.”, he answered softly.


End file.
